American Cheese: Odd Patriotic Gestures

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New York-based Slycraft Inc. has just sent the first wave of 400 surrender kits, mailed anonymously, to the Iraqi leader's headquarters. "It's like Save the Children, only the Iraqi soldier you sponsor will never know who you are," said company President David Garland. "He'll just know you care."

With each $10 of Slycraft's unique form of humanitarian aid, you'll get a certificate and proof that your care package has been mailed to Saddam's headquarters. In true Save the Children style, Garland would like donors to get a picture of the surrendering Iraqi they sponsor. "This is a new service," he says. "That's something to aim for in the future."

Southern Fried Francophiles: Carrboro, N.C., has long called itself "The Paris of the Piedmont," and it isn't going to succumb to the recent wave of anti-French sentiment. To the contrary, town leaders have declared April "French Trade Month" and are asking its 17,000 citizens to buy French wines and cheeses, products many other Americans are boycotting. We can only assume town leaders wouldn't be so uppity if Carrboro were "The Baghdad of the Piedmont."

Weapon of Baath Destruction: Here's an appropriate gift to celebrate the end of Iraq's ruling Bath Party — Saddam Soap. It's soap on a rope, with a hangman's noose and an etching of the reviled dictator in a fragrant, 4-ounce glycerin bar. The question is, why would anyone want to rub a scented likeness of Hussein against his or her body? Apparently, the chance to hang Saddam — even if it's just in the shower — is a real morning pick-me-up for soldiers preparing for combat in the sweltering desert heat.'s Ellen Cagnassola says she's been selling gift boxes to friends and family of those who'll clean up terrorism and burst Saddam's bubble.

Also popular: Security Alert Soap — a $25, a color-coded five-bar soap set to match Homeland Security advisories, ranging from blue (a lavender-scented low-level alert) to orange (hazelnut-tinged high) and red (sage-scented severe).