(Page 2 of 4)

3. For the Liberal Saint: Adopt a Burro — In Your Backyard!

Looking for meaning this holiday season? There are 230 burros that need a home. With some charities, you sponsor a critter in a Third World country, send money, and receive pictures four times a year. With Fund for Animals, you actually adopt the beast. The fee is $75 per burro (transportation from the Mojave Desert not included), and the fund insists you must adopt at least two burros (so they won't be lonesome). (Suggested Celebrity Endorsement: Sally Struthers)

4. For the Militant Feminist: A Bra Gun Holster

Keep your hands off, fellas! This brassiere is loaded! Paxton Quigley, a Beverly Hills expert in female self-defense, offers a bra designed to hold a .38-caliber revolver and pepper spray. It's the very latest in tough-girl chic, designed "for the comfort and ease" it provides gun-toting gals. Quigley says the chest is actually a good place to conceal a weapon. She describes her underwear as "equal parts Victoria's Secret and Guns & Ammo magazine." (Suggested Celebrity Endorsement: Angelina Jolie)

5. For the Britney Wannabe: Bellybutton Lights

If you won't let your 12-year-old pierce her bellybutton, you can at least allow her to insert a flashing neon Belly Light ($6.95). "You can shake like Britney and they won't come off," says Jerry Phlippeau, president of manufacturer Gammagarb. They stick with an adhesive, and the company claims to have sold more than 2 million lights. What's next? Lobe Strobes — flashing lights that go in your ears and hair.(Suggested Celebrity Endorsement: Britney Spears, of course)

6. For the Guy Who'd Rather Be Watching Football: The RoboMower

One day robots will take over the world and enslave us. But right now, for $695, you can have one mow your lawn. Best of all, these creepy-crawly vacuum-like devices look a bit like R2-D2.

Friendly Robotics introduced this device earlier this year, after a two-year run in Sweden, where the company claims to have sold more than 5,000 backyard cyborgs. (Suggested Celebrity Endorsement: Homer Simpson)

7. For the Paranoid: A Portable Lie Detector

Does the love of your life end each sentence with "Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?"

End that now. Give that special someone a hand-held lie detector. Sophisticated polygraphs cost $5,000 and require serious training. The Handy Truster from LieBusters.com exposes fibbers by detecting tremors in their voice and claims 82 percent accuracy. Wouldn't you pay $37.95 for 82 percent honesty? "Honesty," says Rick Garloff of LieBusters.com. "What could be more in the Christmas spirit?" (Suggested Celebrity Endorsement: O.J. Simpson)