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If You Just Want to Give Up …

Don't fight failure. This Valentine's Day, if you know your marriage is doomed, it might be kinder to send a process server rather than roses and chocolates.

Requests for divorce on Valentine's Day are very common, says radio relationships commentator Susan Allan, author of 101 Divorce Secrets.

It's not even unheard of to give chocolates and take legal action, says Cynthia McKay, president of Le Gourmet Gift Basket Inc., which operates 510 franchises worldwide. McKay considers Valentine's Day her largest revenue-producing holiday.

"For Valentine's last year," she says, "one of my male clients had me send a gift basket to his new girlfriend with a diamond ring inside, while his wife received divorce papers in a brown box. He said, 'Throw in some chocolates, she'll love it!' "

If You're Trying to Get Back Together … If you want your old lover back, expensive bouquets might not be the best idea. Here's one idea: Go to a local hospital and sweet-talk a nurse into giving you a discarded chest X-ray.

"I took the chest X-ray, and with my best blood-red Sharpie in hand, I wrote, 'You stole my heart … you might as well keep it," says Atlanta public relations consultant Dan Beeson.

Beeson, 38, says he used this tactic several times when he was younger. "It's a cheap, cute and clever way to say 'I care' and it never failed," he says.

"Except when I tried it on one girl who is now my wife."

Despite Beeson's admittedly transparent Valentine's Day overtures, he and his wife have now been married four years. Congratulations.