Wolf Files: Top Weird Stories of 2003

ET Lobbyists, Pet Tigers, Freedom Fries
… and, of course, Bennifer

By Buck Wolf

Dec. 23  — In a year America spent searching for Saddam Hussein's hideout and details of Jennifer and Ben's not-so-secret wedding, thank goodness there are folks in Washington who haven't forgotten the importance of UFO law.

Here's a rundown of 2003's top weird news from The Wolf Files: 1. French Fried Patriotism: Congressional lawmakers marked 2003, by finally putting "Freedom" on the menu — of its cafeteria.

To protest France's opposition to U.S. policy in Iraq, Congress banned "French"-named food from its dining hall and introduced "Freedom Fries" — the first junk food that allowed Americans to declare their patriotism and clog their arteries at the same time. Taking a cue from lawmakers, Americans found all manner of novelty items to express themselves, plastering Saddam Hussein's face on garbage pails, ash trays, and the popular "wipe out terrorism" toilet paper.

Freedom Fries even inspired one ice cream company to offer flavors such as "Iraqi Road," "Cowardly German Chocolate" and "I-Hate-the-French Vanilla."

When the Army finally roused a scraggly-faced Saddam from his spider hole, doctored pictures circulated over the Internet of the deposed Iraqi leader getting a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy " makeover. [Next: Arnold Schwarzenegger]