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In any event, there are a lot of psychics out there, and it's up to you to decide who can see into your future (for a reasonable fee). I honor the following people only for the unique products and services they provide.

Very Rare Mediums

Stallone's Rumpology: Has astrology let you down? Sylvester Stallone's mom applies the concept of palm reading to a spot where the sun doesn't shine. She practices "rumpology."

A rumpologist like Jackie Stallone will tell fortunes based on a print of your butt. There's some logic in this. Can't you just look at some people's behinds and predict that they eat too much junk food and have let their gym membership lapse?

Ms. Stallone, a one-time trapeze artist, also claims to be the owner of psychic dogs, miniature Doberman pinschers who are sometimes dressed in tutus and dresses and are said to be very accurate in predicting Oscar winners.

The only question is why these pooches let Sly star in Get Carter, Judge Dredd and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Those are bad dogs.

Geller's Metaphysical Teddy Bears: Why buy your kid a plain old teddy bear? Uri Geller, the famed "spoon-bending" psychic, is selling metaphysical teddy bears — dressed up as fortune tellers, palm readers, and astrologers.

Geller even hugs each "Uri Bear," to energize them, if only psychologically, with special healing powers.

Geller has an impressive résumé. His Web site describes how he's worked with the CIA, and advised Michael Jackson and 'N Sync, among various other newsmakers.

Jackson thought so much of Geller that he served as best man two years ago at the psychic's remarriage.

Given all that, Geller's foray into the plush toy business is a bit curious. But his online store also offers such gift items as key chains, collectible pottery, autographed pictures, and other products designed to nurture your mind power.

Hug a Uri Bear tight enough and maybe you, too, will one day have a line of metaphysical toys.

Celebrity DNA Readings: As Shakespeare may have said, "The fault lies not in our stars, but in our stars' DNA."

Psychic Bayless Secord of Medina, Minn., is homing in on the psychic power of the biological blueprint for all life — DNA — and using it to explain why certain celebrities are so special.