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3. For the Caveman About Town: Permanent Beard Removal What if you could tell Pa that he'd never have to shave again? How about giving him the gift of laser surgery?

You might think some dads would feel emasculated without whiskers. But cosmetic surgeons say men are quickly discovering the modern joys of tampering with Mother Nature — and that's why plastic surgery is a now a Father's Day gift alternative.

With three sessions of laser treatments, your dad's face will forever be as smooth as a baby's bottom. Such a procedure costs about $1,000 (perhaps a little more if he's a member of ZZ Top), and places like the Neigel Center for Cosmetic & Laser Surgery in West Orange, N.J., even offers Father's Day Gift Certificates.

Of course, Father's Day is great opportunity to talk to your dad about his uni-brow and the shag rug upholstering his backside. That's why laser hair removal is also considered a Mother's Day gift.

4. For the Guy Who'd Rather Be Watching Football: The RoboMower One day robots will take over the world and enslave us. But right now, for $695, you can have one mow your lawn. Best of all, these creepy-crawly vacuum-like devices look a bit like R2-D2.

Friendly Robotics (www.robomower.com) introduced this device earlier this year after a two-year run in Sweden, where the company claims to have sold more than 5,000 backyard cyborgs.

5. For the High-Tech Grill Master: A Wireless BBQ Thermometer There's nothing like taking the simple joys in life and complicating them with electronic gadgets. Sure, it's fun to barbecue. But it's not fair if your dad's slaving over a grill while his buddies are tossing around the football and tossing back some beer. Now, however, he can do it all.

The Wireless BBQ Thermometer — available online at Radio Shack (www.radioshack.com) for $40 — lets you wander from the grill and calls you back when your steak has reached charbroiled perfection.

You can be chucking around a football, your beeper will go off, and you just tell your buddies, "Don't worry. That's not my boss. That's my grill."