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Now, you can answer e-mail, play computer solitaire and jog — all at once. The Xybernaut Poma Wearable Computer, available for $1,495 from technoscout.com, weighs only 2.8 pounds and does just about anything a desktop computer can do — except convince you that you're not slowly being replaced by a machine. 8. Secret Bra Purse — When a 58-year-old grandmother had her purse snatched while playing the slots in Las Vegas, she decided it was time to revolutionize female attire. Now, LaFlora Williams is marketing the Bra Purse (www.cydneyblu.com) — a small pouch for credit cards and cash — that attaches to any bra.

This is the perfect gift for any woman worried about security. You may have to slip into the bathroom to take out your money, but Williams says that's a lot better than being a crime victim.

9. Personalized Thong — There are many ways to proclaim your love. If a marriage proposal and ring aren't your thing, give your gal thong underwear with your picture on it.

Personalized thongs, available from CafePress.com for only $7.99, could be today's answer to the chastity belt. Would you want a woman who has someone else's face emblazoned on her underwear?

10. Massage Pen — Mother told you not to use your pen as an earwax scoop or a dandruff rake. But now, Excalibur Electronics (www.excaliburelectronics.com) has a vibrating massage pen. Just turn on this $20 gizmo and apply to your stiff neck. Remember to turn it off before you start writing or your boss may think you have arthritis. 11. Robot Mouse — 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except a robot mouse. If your feline has been a good kitty, she may deserve a $30 Panic Mouse from drugstore.com. This battery-operated cyborg rodent is sure to give your pussy hours of pleasure — and no unsightly hairballs.

12. Indecent Exposure Eradicator — Nobody wants to go home from the beach in a soggy swimsuit. But you don't want the police to slap you with a fine if you accidentally flash the public while trying to change behind a blanket.