Gifts for Rich Bitches (Literally)

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PETicures: You've got to accentuate your best features, and if you walk on all fours and seldom wear shoes, you might need Pawfect Pawlish, nail polish from the Pampered Pet in Los Angeles. Three-packs go for $12.95 and are available in fast-drying, nontoxic shades of pastels and glitters.

Beastly Yoga: You and your pet can seek inner peace on side-by-side yoga mats. Bruce Van Horn started his pet yoga program at a New York animal rescue center to relieve puppies and kitties from the trauma of abandonment. Now, he's marketing an at-home yoga class through for pet owners to bond with their companions.

"In some cases, you see the dogs imitating the humans," he says. It's unclear whether a dog can achieve the yoga pose of downward facing dog. Largely, our animal friends just soak in the calm meditative vibes, which Van Horn says can soothe any creature, perhaps even a guppy.

Woofy Pop: I know how important it is for you and your dog to eat from the same bowl. Now you can, with Dogmatic Product's Woofy Pop — the microwavable popcorn for pooches … and humans. That's assuming you'd snack on bacon- and chicken liver-flavored popcorn.

Pet-sicles: Now this is cool for cats: A Japanese company has introduced pet ice cream. This frozen dairy treat from Akagi Nyogyo is yogurt-based to suit our precious pals' pallets. It's not yet available in America, so we can only anticipate Cycle Four Ice Cream, to satisfy the cravings of fat cats and paunchy pooches.

Pet Cemetery: The Wolf Files earlier reported that pet owners are among the first clients at LifeGem — a Chicago company that will turn the cremated remains of your loved one into a diamond. After all, every living creature is a carbon-based life form, and this funeral scheme just combines a man's best friend to with a girl's best friend — to comfort any grieving pet owner.

If you're planning a more traditional funeral for Fido, Vintage Coffins in Georgia offers made-to-order caskets for pets of all sizes, ranging from $135 to $215. But if you want to really send your animal companion out in style, they offer special designs.

One client even ordered a McDonald's-themed casket, complete with golden arches, for $1,500. This mutt not only loved happy meals, he was rescued from a Mickey-D's parking lot.

Buck Wolf is entertainment producer at The Wolf Files is published Tuesdays. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.