Comics Say World's Best Joke Stinks
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"Scientists have once again proven they are the utmost boring people on earth."
Carol Montgomery, Las Vegas-based comic
"Whoever told that joke was wasting his breath and that was no great loss, either." Groucho Marx interpreter Frank Ferrante, imagining what Groucho would say
"This study was conducted on the Internet I don't believe anything on the Internet. If you're reading my comments, I probably didn't say any of this."
Ellen Cleghorne, former Saturday Night Live cast member
"It sounds like they polled their lab monkeys, instead of people with a sense of humor."
Barry Dougherty, comedy writer and author of How To Do It Standing-Up The Friars Club Guide To Being A Comic, A Cut-Up, A Card, Or A Clown
"This is the kind of research you do when you graduate last in your class."
Lenny Marcus, a computer programmer turned "Geek Comic," who recently appeared at the Montreal Comedy Festival
"That's the kind of joke that must be written in prison. No self-respecting stand-up comic would use it. My mother might like it. In fact, I'm going to call her and tell it to her."
Eddie Ifft, New York-based stand-up comic who's appeared on Comedy Central's Premium Blend
"I can absolutely guarantee that's not the greatest joke. I wrote a better one last week: 85-year-old Phyllis Diller has a stalker. Not to worry, he's in a walker."
Phyllis Diller
Buck Wolf is entertainment producer at ABCNEWS.com. The Wolf Files is published Tuesdays. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.