(Page 2 of 4)

3. We All Shine On: Be a Star … in the Sky There is a place for you and your lover in the cosmos. For as little as $48, the International Star Registry will locate an unnamed star, send you its telescopic coordinates, and register it with the U.S. Copyright Office. Suggested celebrity endorsement: Alec Baldwin, Tom Cruise or Madonna. These stars already have stars named after themselves.

4. A Rose by Any Other Name … Is Phyllis

Sending flowers on Valentine's Day — how trite. If you've got $75,000, you can have a unique, unnamed variety of roses bred and named after your sweetheart. Jackson & Perkins Company will fly you to its research facility in Carmillo, Calif., where you can choose your personal rose from several unnamed varieties. The company reserves the right to reject any names it deems offensive. Suggested celebrity endorsement: Kevin Spacey

5. I See the Real You at Last: A Guided Tour of Your Heart

Do you really want to know your lover? How about a guided tour of his heart … or his colon? For $800, Innovative Medical Imaging in Boca Raton, Fla., will let you and your loved one see your innards. Don't worry about some nasty little camera snaking through your small intestines. You just drink a solution and 3-D images of your bodily organs will dance before your eyes. Suggested celebrity endorsement: John Gray

6. If Your Skivvies Could Talk: Musical Underwear

Any couple could make sweet music together with these boxers. They're 100 percent cotton, and play such classics as "The Theme From Love Story," "Love Me Tender" and "Let Me Call You Sweetheart." They cost $13.95 per pair, and come with directions that Valentine's Day lovers are sure to understand: squeeze to operate. Suggested celebrity endorsement: Pee Wee Herman.

7. Exqueeze Me: Bubble-Wrap Lingerie

Anyone can wear a black teddy. But if you were one of those kids who liked the boxes more than the toys that came inside, here's the lingerie for you. For $145, you could can bring the pop back into your bedroom with this bubble-wrap nightie. It doubles as a life preserver and makes the perfect gift for lovebirds who want to play out their Titanic fantasies. Suggested celebrity endorsement: Kate Winslet.