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3. Cursing Car Alarm

— Imagine being able to tell a perspective car thief to "Get the [bleep] away from this car." Now you can — with the 516L Voice Module System, a device that allows you to attach any message you want to your car alarm.

The folks at Directed Electronics (www.directedelectronics.com) say they don't advocate using abusive language. But for $200, the 516L allows you to replace those annoying car alarm sirens with whatever message you want, including pre-recorded messages in English and Japanese to "Stay away." 4. Roadkill Buster — Don't bash into Bambi on Christmas. This holiday, you can protect Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Blitzen with the Johnson Smith Electronic Deer and Animal Alert — an ultrasonic animal-warning system that tells our furry friends not to play in traffic.

This $40 device (www.johnsonsmith.com) hooks up to your car's battery and emits a high-pitched signal from up to 1,500 feet that tells reindeer and other critters that you're approaching. Remember, the life you're saving may be Rudolph's. 5. Therapy: The Game — Does your lover play head games? Let's see how screwed up he really is.

Therapy: The Game, from Pressman Toys (www.pressmantoy.com), allows you and your special someone to put each other on the couch. Sample question: "What are the chances you would complain to the waiter if your restaurant bill was 50 cents more than it should be? High? Medium? Low?"

Will it end your relationship if your boyfriend finds out you think he's a lousy tipper? At $19.95, this board game is cheaper than a divorce, or a real shrink.

6. Breathalyzer Pen — Too much eggnog? You don't want to get behind the wheel. If you're a friend who won't let a friend drive drunk, maybe you ought to splurge on a $30 Alcohol Tester Pen from gadgets.com.

Just remember, when you get pulled over, don't say, "I swear, officer, my pen says I'm not drunk." 7. Wearable Computer — For the geek you love: a strap-on computer with an optical pointing device and wireless modem.