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When Clowns Go Bad

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Clowns were once the most revered of entertainers, and they trace their history back to ancient Egypt and China. They were the truth-tellers in Shakespearean theater. There's an old vaudeville joke that even cannibals won't eat clowns … because they taste funny. But now they're easy targets.

About a year ago in Britain, "Coz the Clown" said he was assaulted by a group of 10-year-olds who mangled his magic wand, tore his clothes and popped his balloons as their parents watched in apparent amusement. He's since started a campaign to stop what he calls "Clown Abuse."

On the corporate front, even the Golden Arches' beloved hamburger huckster has been targeted. Last year in Billings, Mont., a Ronald McDonald statue was stolen from a local restaurant and found the next morning, lynched, hanging from a tree.

To be sure, that for every bad clown, there are hundreds of good clowns. The Wolf Files has dug around for a few examples of each. The good ones are devoting their lives to entertaining sick kids, reforming juvenile delinquents, even traveling to war-torn countries. The bad ones, well, they speak for themselves.

Good Clown, Bad Clown

GOOD CLOWN: Mr. Yoowho

In lands ravaged by war, "Clowns Without Borders" performed in the streets, entertaining child refugees. Moche Cohen, the mime clown known as "Mr. Yoowho," says his group has traveled to such places as Bosnia, Turkey, North Africa, Nepal and Afghanistan. The group's motto is "No Child Without a Smile."

BAD CLOWN: Ouchy the S&M Clown

If you need a little more thrill than a squirt of seltzer down the front of your pants, Ouchy the Clown of San Francisco is at your service. He'll discipline you with a rubber chicken, or worse. In his own defense, he says, "I don't do children's parties." However, "If you're an open-minded adult, I'd like to meet and beat you."

GOOD CLOWN: Dr. Stubbs

Who's the biggest clown on staff at the renowned Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center? It's Dr. Stubbs, aka Michael Christensen, a co-founder of the Big Apple Circus Clown Care Unit. Cynics assume entertainers pay highly publicized hospital calls scripted by public relations experts. But since 1986, Christensen has spearheaded a program that's placed 93 clowns on the clinical staffs of 17 hospitals around the country. They make about 200,000 bedside calls each year. Some convalescing kids might be a little freaked out by Christensen's hairy-legged, hobo clown. "It happens," he says. "The key is to wait at the door for the child to invite you in. It sometimes helps to let the child watch the clown put on his makeup."

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