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The Must-Have-Been-Bottle-Fed Award: To director Bernardo Bertolucci. Accepting an award for The Last Emperor in 1987, he referred to Hollywood as the "Big Nipple."

The You Crack Me Up Award: To comedian Marty Feldman, for presenting the 1976 Live Action Short Oscar. Calling the two winning producers to the stage, he threw the statue to the floor, then handed a shard of the award to each one. He said, "It said, 'Made in Hong Kong' on the bottom."

The Where Am I Now? Award: To Alice Brady, who won a Best Supporting Actress award for In Old Chicago in 1937. Brady wasn't present, but a man walked up and accepted the award on her behalf. After the show, neither he nor the Oscar was ever seen again.

The Who Am I Now? Award: To Spencer Tracy, who won Best Actor in 1937 for Captains Courageous. The inscription on his gold statue read "Dick Tracy."

The Get This Over With Award: To Sir Laurence Olivier. In 1985, the 78-year-old Shakespearean forgot to name the Best Picture nominees. He simply opened the envelope and proclaimed, "Amadeus!"

Buck Wolf is a producer at ABCNEWS.com. The Wolf Files is a weekly feature. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.