How to Speak Surfer Dude

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Here's an introductory lesson:

Surfspeak: "Howzit, brah? The surf was epic today, fully macking double overhead corduroy to the horizon. Now it's all buggery. Think I'll jet to the food hut and grab a burrito and some sweet nectar. Latronic, dude."

Translation: "The surf was great! Now, it's not. Let's eat. Goodbye."

Key Words:

Howzit, brah? — Hawaiian Pidgin expression meaning, "How's it going, brother?" Ladies would say, "Howzit, sistah?"

Surf — Often used synonymously with sea, waves, breakers, rollers, whitecaps, white horses, billows, surge, spume, sea foam, froth, spindrift, and spray.

Epic — A useful superlative. One may have an "epic surf" on an "epic day" with "epic conditions."

Macking — Huge waves that have the force of a Mack truck.

Double overhead — A wave twice as high as the surfer.

Corduroy to the horizon — When the waves are perfectly lined up, like the ribbing on corduroy pants.

Buggery — Something annoying.

Food hut — Any surfer eatery. It is nearly essential that such a place have burritos. If you refer to a burrito as a "wrap," you will be executed.

Sweet nectar — A good drink or a pretty woman. Usage: "She's really nectar."

Latronic — Later, man.

Just remember, surfers tend to speak in one- and two-word sentences, and those words tend to be shortened. That's rad. Totally bitchin'. Awesome. Understand?

So hang 10, if you will. Just be careful when someone warns you to "beware the sharkies."

Buck Wolf is entertainment producer at The Wolf Files is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.