The Man Who Stole Summer

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The Wolf Files hereby proclaims a national movement to move Labor Day to Sept. 22. As an employee of, I humbly refuse monetary donations. But I urge all sympathetic souls to respond to the e-mail petition below.

As the self-proclaimed leader of what I call The Endless Summer Party Campaign (ESPC), I pledge to collect all e-mails and submit them to the appropriate leaders in Washington. I will report back on our progress and I urge all of you to get involved.

The Beach Boys, of course, will be entreated to lend their star power to this movement. Tom Hanks? Alec Baldwin? If you are out there and this reaches you, get involved. You are always looking for a good cause. Here is a great one. E-mail us the petition below.

Attention John Travolta: Sign on to the Endless Summer Party Campaign and we will forgive you for Battlefield Earth and whatever your next theatrical bomb may be.

Move Thanksgiving: More Shopping

You might think the “Move Labor Day” movement has no chance. I say you are wrong. America has created, moved and removed holidays at the mere stroke of a pen for reasons of much less import.

George Washington proclaimed Nov. 26 a day of Thanksgiving. Lincoln declared it to be a national holiday, but moved it to the fourth Thursday in November. Then came Franklin Roosevelt, who declared Thanksgiving to be celebrated one week earlier because he wanted to extend the Christmas shopping season.

Government documents said the new Thanksgiving would allow Americans to “make proper provision for the Christmas rush.”

Republicans and Roosevelt haters trounced the idea. After two years, Thanksgiving was moved back to its familiar date. But take heart, ESPC supporters! A precedent has been set. We can move Labor Day.

This war is winnable. We must be allowed to celebrate summer until it truly ends.

I’m sure big business will be less than thrilled if folks keep summer hours through September. I’m sure opponents will launch a “Rush to Autumn” campaign. But we must rise above their propaganda and spread the truth.